I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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