worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
