Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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