Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
