So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
