My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
