I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
