Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
