She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
