capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
