I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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