Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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