Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
