Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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