i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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