I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
