Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
