Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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