Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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