Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
