There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have fence marks all over my body
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
