You work out of a Hotel?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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