Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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