HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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