Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
