Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
