ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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