i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
