i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
