my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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