i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
