YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
