you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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