i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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