Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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