So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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