I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize