He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
