I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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