I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
