The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
