32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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