Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
