So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize