We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
try to milk me bitch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
