If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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