I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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