I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
