We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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