the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
