last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Randomize
