There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You left your phone here
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