I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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