she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So vagazzling was a success
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize