That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
