After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
