living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
