its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
