help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
