Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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