I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
