So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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