Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
