I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
